Monday, March 19, 2007

Baby, That Water's Dirty: an AWP Memoir in 100 words by Phil MacKenzie

Friends made from other MFA programs: 0

Contacts made from other Universities and CCs: 0

Money made from Man Candy sales: $3.50

Average cost of American bottled beer in Atlanta: $7.00

Total cost of binge drinking: $170.00 beer, $50.00 liquor/wine

Amount of $ given to hobos: $10

Money saved with ‘Downtown Card’ sold by hobo: $0

Number of pieces of fried catfish on one bun from
the Velvet Elvis Restaurant in Milledgeville, GA: 2

Hours of crippling stomach pains caused by catfish sandwich: 3 ½

Speed at which I drove with eyes closed into downtown Atlanta: 90 mph

Varieties of Sunkist flavors drank: 3 (Peach, Fruit Punch, Pineapple)

Number of pit stops in 5 hour span due to Sunkist consumption: 4

Number of threats made against Walter Mosley: 300+

Average age of Walter Mosley’s gang of groupies: 21

Hours spent spooning with Bryan Johnson: approximately 10

Cost of therapy to remove image of spooning with Bryan Johnson: $5,000 US

New Fantasy Lover: Terrance Hayes (with Mohawk)

Good-Sportsmanship Award: Rita Dove

Stalker of the Year: The Man from Chatham

Place I want to live when I graduate: Horsetown

Roommate I hope to have when I move to Horsetown: Ling Ling (thawed)

1 comment:

Bryan said...

I can only assume the five grand bill for therapy are for all those people who don't understand what boundaries love can make meaningless.

We'll always have Atlanta, Phil. Always.